I am a believer that whatever I need to know, comes to me when I need it most. It’s been over 4 years since my divorce was finalized and it is still a struggle — sometimes daily. I know that your individual difficulties may be different than mine; you may be feeling despair, desperation, unhappiness — that life will never be the same. And it won’t. I didn’t want to be alone, which is why I delayed the inevitable much too long. After my almost 33+ year marriage, I don’t go through one day where I don’t sometimes wonder,
Was it the right thing to do?
But I’ve also grown in my faith and belief that things will get better, my future will be better as I continue changing myself into a new person without fear. Today, my inbox had this article from Andy Andrews. I have re-posted the last few paragraphs of his story below, and the link to the entire page is at the bottom of this post. Please take the time to read the entire post from Andy. I hope it will resonate with you as much as it did with me.
As the old saying goes, the glass simply “is what it is”. Anything else is perspective.
And so, with love, to the hurricane victims of last summer, here is a bit of unsolicited Christmas advice from “someone who has been there”…
First, I am so sorry this has happened. My wife and I know the numbness you feel.
There will be opportunities to cry and you probably should…but don’t cry too much in front of your kids. You are establishing now how they will measure up in the future when they experience the worst time in their lives. After all, everybody has a ‘worst time’…
If you haven’t already, you will soon be presented with daily opportunities to quit. Don’t. Things will get better. Not ‘back to normal’. Better.
And to a large degree, you will make things better by how you “see” your life even as it continues to unfold. That, of course, is known as “your perspective”, but be aware that your perspective is not merely how you view your circumstances. Your perspective is how you choose to view your circumstances.
Does your perspective make a difference? Really? Yes. Really. To you and everyone who comes in contact with you.
Consider the following…
Who receives more help, advice, and opportunities…people we like to be around? Or people we would rather not be around?
Who would you rather be around…a “glass half-full person”? Or a “glass half-empty person”?
Does it make sense then, that over time, the “glass half-full person” receives more help, has access to more good advice, and is presented with greater opportunities?
Of course it does.But one must remember that in reality, the glass is neither half-full nor half-empty. As the old saying goes, the glass simply “is what it is”. Anything else is perspective.
In the same light, how you choose to see your current situation—how you celebrate Christmas this year with your family—will determine much about the direction of your future. Your life has a lot in common with that glass. Right now, your life “is what it is.”
In other words, you cannot change what has happened. But because you can choose how you think, you can choose the direction of your future.
So, all your possessions are destroyed? That means that at some point, most of the stuff you own will be brand new.
Living in a shelter with a bunch of strangers? You will make friends during this time who will become so important—for whom you will become so grateful—you will one day laugh when you find yourself thanking God for this storm.
There will be business opportunities that will come about because of changes you’d have never made on your own in a million years.
And—trust me on this—you will have employment and financial opportunities in the future based solely on how people see you act during this awful time. (Of course, for some, the opposite of this will be true as well…)
Yes, for you, things will be better. In many ways. I often wish I had a dollar for every time I have heard someone in our area say, “You know, if it weren’t for the hurricane…” Then they go on to to describe something for which they are incredibly grateful.
Grateful, you ask? Andy, are you saying I should be grateful that this has happened?
No, I suppose not. However…
If you wish to be a blessing to those around you instead of a burden… If you want to live in the solution instead of the problem…
If you’d like to keep your sanity…
Then it is okay to be grateful that you are safe and alive and able to lead your family through this relatively short period of time. So, no, you don’t have to be grateful it happened. But it did happen. You can’t change that.
Therefore, you can choose to be grateful for the opportunity to shape not only how your family sees the future, but indeed their actual future!
We, the people of Orange Beach, Alabama will help. There are others all across America who will also help. We will mourn with you. We will sacrifice for you with our money and our time. We will risk our health for you.
But we cannot stand up for you. We cannot smile for you. We cannot plan or dream or think for you.
Only you can do these things. And if you can do these things…you can do anything.