How to Manage Money: Personal Finance Guide For Widows

How to Manage Money: Personal Finance Guide For Widows

This gives some basic understanding on the first steps after you’ve “lost” your spouse. Even though it is a guide for Widows, it would also apply to women going through divorce.

Managing your money after the loss of your husband can be very daunting.

This article at Bankrate.com helps to give you an idea of what to do next.

The grief of losing a spouse often has to be set aside to deal with practical matters: the new reality of handling finances as an individual rather than as a couple.It is not an easy journey. But it can be managed by getting organized, delaying big money decisions and putting off well-meaning friends and relatives who want to “help.”After the household bills are paid and you have a handle on how much money is coming in each month, take your time wading through other financial matters. Read on to learn what the experts advise on how to manage money as you enter this new stage of life.

Source: How to Manage Money: Personal Finance Guide For Widows | Bankrate.com

Today Is the 95th Anniversary of the 19th Amendment’s Ratification

We have gained a lot of equality with the 19th Amendment, but it would seem that we still have a long way to go.

When you are going through a Divorce there isn’t always the same “equality” that we as women know we deserve.

It took decades of tireless effort and hell-raising. The Seneca Falls Convention happened in 1848. The women who pushed and prodded and protested and paraded in the intervening years faced fierce opposition. You can see some of the mocking, unfathomably stupid postcards produced in response to their demands at Collector’s Weekly. This piece from the Library of Congress relates the scene at the 1913 Women’s Suffrage Parade in D.C., which drew marchers from all over the country. It sounds terrifying, frankly:

Source: Today Is the 95th Anniversary of the 19th Amendment’s Ratification

There are so many things to think about when you are going through or preparing for Divorce. We want to believe that it will work out easily, but that is not always the case.

Be sure that you have someone working on your behalf – a reputable attorney who knows what she is doing…..

Division of property, also known as equitable distribution, is a judicial division of property rights and obligations between spouses during divorce. It may be done by agreement, through a property settlement, or by judicial decree.

When I went through my own divorce in 2013, I was so glad that my attorney was as knowledgeable as she was. One of my concerns was exactly that – how to “fairly” and “equitably” divide things up. We had been married almost 33 years, so I knew that I should receive spousal support. But of course the EX didn’t want to share his income and wanted to fight me tooth and nail. One detail that my attorney shared with me was that he could fight and take me to court – or he could work with me on a settlement. She told me that once I had served my EX with the divorce papers, she would file a stipulation as per the law, (Sargent v. Sargent), which would require HIM to be responsible to pay ALL attorney fees!! And she said that she was being “conservative,” and if we were to continue battling in court it would be a minimum of $25,000. EACH in attorney’s fees, that the EX would have to pay.

It definitely made me feel better to know that I had options — I started to feel more positive — that I would get through this entire process.

Having gone through this and come out on the other side a much stronger and confident woman has shown me that I can do it! And you can too. If you have more questions about preparing for and going through your own divorce, perhaps we can help.

Take a look at our website for more information and resources —

WOMEN’S FINANCIAL EMPOWERMENT

Women 50+ are celebrating their INDEPENDENCE and EMPOWERMENT handling their personal finances after DIVORCE

July is the month of Independence Day, July 4^th, and I want you to realize that you can gain your independence after divorce, gain freedom over your personal finances and do it without fear!

“Oh, she doesn’t have to be there because I take care of all the finances,” he said.

Did your husband/ex every say something like that?
Were you ever scared or confused because you didn’t understand how to handle your bank accounts?
Did you feel like he was controlling the situation?
Did you ever feel afraid that you couldn’t do it by yourself?

I have thought about this and it wasn’t easy for me to go through the divorce process even when I was the one that had always handled the finances. It was confusing to figure out everything that needed to be done. I wasn’t sure what to do first, next, and onward. I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like for someone, perhaps you, that didn’t have my background in finances and accounting experience; someone not understanding what to do in any of the many personal financial situations that we go through during our adult lifetime, much less going through the process of divorce and having to start over alone…..

Are you feeling alone and scared? If you’re anything like me, I was petrified. I had known my ex-husband since we were in junior high school. I had never been alone. When I finally realized that I was alone even though he was in the same room with me, I knew it was time for a change. You can do it because I can help you. Things to think about are:

Initial Steps to Take When Contemplating Divorce

You may feel at a disadvantage starting the divorce process because so often, many women who are contemplating a divorce do not have a clear picture of their marital finances. Since their husband has been handling all of the finances, the wife doesn’t have access to the marital financial accounts.

It is imperative that you gain an understanding of your financial situation prior to engaging in a divorce. Some of the things you will need to do:

Prepare a Marital Balance Sheet –

This is basically a list of where the income comes from along with what costs are required to maintain your household.

Obtain some independence from your spouse moving forward –

It is important to gain some financial autonomy.

Establish your own separate checking account and/or credit card in your NAME

The above steps can be complicated when your spouse has generally been in control of the finances. You may have to do some investigating. Just take it one step at a time. I advise that you go through your financial documents and …..

Put together a comprehensive list of assets and liabilities –

figure out what you own and what you owe

It is very important to make photocopies of financial documents and store and secure them in a safe place —– a friend’s or family member’s home.

Once the divorce process is initiated your attorney is going to need all of the relevant financial documents.

Other things to consider are:

Change your passwords – some people forget their partner could access their bank account through an additional card, online or through phone banking.
Put all your financial documents together so that you get an idea about your living expenses.
Start a budget to help you manage your expenses and to plan your future according to your current situation.

With my background in accounting and personal finance, I know that I can help. In addition to the above things to consider, just remember that you are not in this alone.

Just take it one step at a time.

Remember to just take it one step at a time. If you are not sure where to start, just give me a call and we can discuss it and figure out your NEXT STEPS together. Just know that you are not in this alone. A lot of women our age are going through the same thing.

We shall see this through…..

Take care, talk soon,

Natalie

After He’s Gone…..Now What?

Well I made it to almost 33 years of marriage with my junior high school sweetheart. OMG, what happened? Things were up and down in our relationship for a while, perhaps we were just staying together for the kids; but now the kids were adults with children of their own. Then it just got worse after he decided to quit his job and was then unemployed for 4 years! We had to deplete our entire 401K and savings just to survive. It’s sure not that easy when HE decides to give up a salary well over $100K a year. He finally found another job but it required him to move to another state. That made it even more difficult…..no time together at all and when he finally came home for a visit his attitude was,

“Let’s just keep it status quo.”

Really!

That was pretty much the last straw. I knew I had to make a change. So I prayed and thought about the idea of being alone after always being in a relationship. Then I came to the realization that it would be better to be truly alone alone rather than feeling alone when the guy was in the same room with you.

It’s been about a year and a half now and I’m back on my feet both financially and emotionally. And it’s pretty nice. I thought about it and it hadn’t been that easy for me to go through the divorce process even when I was the one that had always handled the finances. I couldn’t imagine what it was like for those of you that didn’t have the experience or understanding of what to do in any of the many financial situations that we go through during our adult lifetime.

That’s when I knew that I wanted to help other ladies go through the processes and gain empowerment in starting over.

Women’s Financial Empowerment came into existence because I wanted to help. Some of the areas I have been working on are —

Budgets

Money Matters

Financial Recovery

If there is any question you have please ask it! If I don’t know the answer, I will find it for you.

I hope that we will have referrals and resources available to help you throughout this uncomfortable time in your life.

Believe me it will get better!! Take care, talk soon, Natalie

Moving Past Your Fears in Divorce by Wife.org

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” – Marie Curie

Dealing with fear is one of the biggest challenges in divorce. Fear is designed to keep us safe; it stops us from touching a hot stove or running out into traffic. But when we let it dominate our thoughts, it can keep us stuck and unable to move forward toward a new life. We humans all suffer from fear of change and fear of the unknown. And yet, life is filled with change, and the unknown future may well hold all the goodness we desire, rather than what we fear.